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Mourning Has Broken

My heart and my prayers go out to the families and friends of the innocent victims that were gunned down in the Thousand Oaks shooting, and to further compound an already horrendous situation people have lost their homes due to raging fires.
 
I’m not sure how much heartbreak one can endure. How many more senseless killings we can mourn? We live in such a dissociative state where as long as my life-style is maintained, then all seems okay. We celebrate violence, aggression and greed. We arm mental illness with guns  and incendiary rhetoric. We hide behind alarm systems and Netflix binges, waiting for the next Jimmy Shoe to drop. We are held hostage by our homes but our homes don’t offer any insulation from Human Nature or Mother Nature. How do we stay upright in a world that is upside-down?
 
I never thought of myself as one to lose their spirit or sense of humor, but it is being tested. I meditate, I do yoga regularly. I am trying to be better tomorrow than I was today. I certainly don’t think I am alone in that pursuit but I indeed feel alone. I can’t protest with any kind of verve as I certainly don’t see my vision for the world as having any kind of adhesive. I believe in disruption but I don’t believe in corruption and those two ideologies have seemed to collapse into one another.
 
At one point I was an agent for changing the world and an advocate for injustice. I was more global in my expression. I am now more focused on what I actually can control, or at least feel that I can control, where there is more of a tactile connection.  I am working on being a better person and making my kids into better people. It’s more of a local pursuit rather than a global one. Like Michael Jackson said, “You have to start with the Man in the Mirror.”


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