We walk by each other with a fixed gaze and silent opinions. We determine who each other is and access one another in a matter of seconds.
We are walking still photographs, interacting with each other in a one-dimensional cadence. We think we know, and the older we get, the less we are seen. It is a reconciliation that we all must, at some point, include.
To quote Eliot’s Prufrock: “Those eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase…” The rest of the stanza is about how we pin each other to certain identities, and how we are pinned by opinions and righteousness, unable to free ourselves. The desire to know, to conclude rather than discover, is at the root of it all.
Every relationship breaks up from the same place. There could be abuse, there could be cheating, there could be mismanagement of all kinds of things, but the baseline is that your partner is pinning you to a specific character, and you are held fast to that. There’s no getting off the wall.
Our need to find freedom of expression, freedom to develop, and freedom to grow becomes paramount, and we are compelled to find others who see us as an ever-evolving possibility.