If love is the ability to cry publicly, laugh uncontrollably, and have your heart broken consistently – then I am filled with love.
I am experiencing all three of those phenomena on a daily basis, maybe on a moment by moment basis.
It feels like some sort of nervous breakdown or at the very least, insane behavior, but actually I think it’s a heart that is just very full and needs emptying out regularly.
I don’t normally do some sort of emotional inventory, I mostly just go with it, but lately, I am in the throes of trying to figure this out.
It’s a futile process because there are no answers, there’s just a lot of supposition:
“Is it because I am older and becoming more eccentric?“
“Is it because I have released some emotional blockage that has to be more open?”
“Is it that I have always been this way and I am just waking up?”
“Is it that life is so precious and I am not so cavalier about losing it?”
“Is it that I am feeling the freefall of attempting to gain control where I have none?”
It may be all of those things and/or something entirely out of my mental grasp…
What I do know is I am surrounded by people I love.
-BC