I am scared.
I am lonely.
I am not certain if one begets the other but they seem kindred. However, the derivation of kindred is kind, and this coupling doesn’t feel kind. Maybe related would be better put.
I am at a loss. I know I am not alone, there are many fellow travelers on this road. We all look different, but the disconnection and the feelings of loss bind us.
I am walking. We are walking, following a guide that doesn’t know where they are leading, but they are walking with an earnestness, a determination, but nevertheless, their somnambulistic gait is clear. We are following because why not, what else are we to do?
I can’t remember if I have been here before. I don’t think so, but I am trying hard to remember. If I can remember, I can make sense of my feelings.
If there’s a memory of familiarity it would be some stabilizing touch stone, but I can’t remember.
I can’t be looking in familiar places,
Because nothing looks the same.
I have to find self-care where I have been dismissed.
I have to find liberation in what I can’t control.
I have to find redemption where I am unable to provide protection.
I must continue to find love in the darkest places.