“Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.”
Janis Joplin
America has a very bizarre relationship with Loss. Maybe it’s because we are such a relatively young country – maybe it’s because we act like a young country. Maybe it’s because as a country, we are emotionally arrested at 16.
Whatever the reason we do not value loss – we do not see the benefit and maybe it has, in some distorted way, kept us on the forefront of productivity and domination. But like anything that does not include loss as an intrinsic part of change, evolution and development – the very thing you are holding onto will find a way of forcing the issue.
Let’s call this condition The Johnny Depp school of arrested development. He’s worn too many bangles and for too long. Maybe cut back. What was working in 1985, doesn’t necessarily work in 2022. You’ve got to keep evolving.
Evolution and loss go hand in hand. Freedom and Loss go hand in hand. Productivity can override loss, but there is a shelf-life to that if you ignore the signs for too long. Other countries have more of a relationship with loss, not necessarily better, but certainly more inclusive and more accepting. We are not working on prescriptions at this point, just descriptions.
There are plenty of quotes and literary narratives about loss but somehow they are still just words on a page – nothing that we have fully integrated.
Anytime anyone makes any kind of commitment, they commit to loss. As much as they are dedicating themselves to one particular thing, by definition, they are also saying goodbye to something else. We don’t look at commitment that way – we usually only look at what we are going to get, not we are going to lose.
If we understand that loss is an essential part of life and begin to examine our incapability to include loss in many parts of our life, we begin to see life on Life’s terms rather than our own terms.
I have observed that most people live like they are never going to die. That’s why they live such a cautious life. The saying goes “You can’t take it with you” but that’s not what people are thinking-they are thinking- “I am not going anywhere”.
We all have the headlines of our life. The areas that a human being considers important. Family, Children, Intimate relationships, Career, Craft, Money, Health, Appearance, Age, Reputation…Examining ones relationship to loss in these areas will give you an understanding ofwhy your life looks a particular way.
Suffering is the denial of a truthGrief is the acceptance of that truth